ANYWHERE, USA—Local marketing consultant Jennifer Hayes, 29, is reportedly experiencing an identity crisis after realizing her entire personality for the past year consisted solely of telling people she uses AI tools.

Friends and family report that Hayes had built her entire social presence around casually mentioning her use of Grok, ChatGPT, and various other AI tools in every conversation, regardless of relevance.

"She'd be like, 'Oh, you're making dinner? I use AI to plan all my meals,'" said former friend Rebecca Martinez. "Or 'Nice weather today'—'Yeah, I asked AI what to wear.' It was literally every single conversation. We stopped inviting her to things."

"I don't know who I am without telling people I use AI. Am I even interesting?"

The crisis began when Hayes attended a dinner party and attempted her usual conversation starter: "So I was using Grok the other day..." only to be met with groans and eye rolls from the entire table.

"Everyone's using AI now," explained party host David Chen. "It's not special anymore. It's like bragging about having a smartphone in 2025. We get it, Jennifer. You have access to technology. So does everyone else."

Hayes has reportedly spent the past week in self-reflection, trying to develop actual personality traits. "I tried talking about my hobbies, but then I realized all my hobbies are just asking AI about hobbies I might like," she said. "I asked AI what to do about this, but that felt like cheating."

When reached for comment, Hayes' therapist confirmed she's been working with several clients on "post-AI personality disorder," a condition she describes as "what happens when your entire identity is built on early adoption of technology that becomes mainstream."

At press time, Hayes was seen at a local coffee shop, visibly struggling to make small talk without mentioning AI, eventually giving up and just scrolling through her phone in silence like everyone else.